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Recently I’ve had quite a few conversations about value. The value of objects, life, health, nature, the value of yourself.
A psychologist by the name of Dr. Crocker at the University of Michigan performed a study, where she surveyed more than 600 college freshmen three times during the year–before they left for college and at the end of the fall and spring semesters. Overall, students were found to have a high level of self-esteem. When students were asked about what they base their self-worth on, more than 80 percent said academic competence, 77 percent said their family’s support, 66 percent said doing better than others, and 65-70 percent of which were women–said their appearance.
Those students who based their self-worth on academic performance did not receive higher grades despite being highly motivated and studying more hours each week than students who did not rate academic performance as important to their self-esteem. Students who based their self-worth on academic outcomes also were more likely to report conflicts with professors and greater stress.
Dr. Crocker speculates that students who base their self-worth on academic performance might become anxious and distracted and threatened by feelings of failure, and, as such, their anxiety might then interfere with their memory.
Students who based their self-esteem on internal sources–such as being a virtuous person or adhering to moral standards–were found to receive higher grades and less likely to use alcohol and drugs or to develop eating disorders.
“We really think that if people could adopt goals not focused on their own self-esteem but on something larger than their self–such as what they can create or contribute to others–then they would be less susceptible” to some of the negative effects of pursuing self-esteem, Crocker says. “It’s about having a goal that is bigger than the self.”
This example was using college students, but it happens when it comes to your career as well as with family, friends or even finding love. What is your self-worth? How are you currently measuring it?
Degrees (high school, college, technical/trade, graduate), grades (g.p.a, etc.), scores (IQ, ASVAB, GRE, SAT, ACT), money, social approval. None of these say who you are. I wish I understood this better as a child.
I felt a lot of pressure when it came to grades and constantly compared my scores and grades to others. To benchmark where was, my worth. I didn’t want to disappoint my parents or myself. I believe I was much harder on myself than my parents were. Teachers, parents as well as colleges make you believe that this sets your life. Whether you will be successful or a failure. This is the mistake that we continue to make over and over with each generation. I don’t think I really understood this it until I started working that nobody really cares….after your foot is in the door. I asked myself again, what is my worth?
Business Insider did a study and discovered that the average millionaire’s GPA was 2.9. Their study also showed that most valedictorians do fine, they are not the ones that typically are millionaires and run companies. They are typically the people who support a system, become a part of the system and don’t do things to change the system in any way because that is what school teaches us, to follow the rules (Business, 2017). This is not saying that everyone that has a high GPA or a 2.9 is the outcome. This is just stating the average person. Valedictorians are known for conscientiousness, while 2.9 ers are known for grit and maybe don’t comply with rules well, but stick with goals over the long term. In school, rules are very clear. In life, not so much.
Why am I saying this? The things that we see and hear, the people we encounter, the environment that we are in slowly teaches us what our worth is. So in school, my worth was based on my GPA and grade. In the work-force, my worth is based on my salary, praises and role responsibility. In relationships its based on a person’s desire to be around you. Stop and ask yourself regardless of the environment, what do you feel you’re worth? If your answer is that you don’t know. Then no one else does, they will always value you less than what you deserve to be valued at. A good amount of people/companies are looking for a deal or bargain price and you are no exemption from that.
When you understand your worth, it ensures that you are valued the way you deserve and want to be. Because you won’t allow anyone else to treat you, talk to you, pay you in any other way. You don’t get offended by what is said or done because it’s not personal, it has nothing to do with you because you know who you are so why be emotional about it. When you fail at something, it’s not the end of the world. It becomes an experience to learn and grow from.
You’ll notice over time you are less stressed, you don’t take much personal, your self-confidence and worth becomes stronger and stronger because you have faith in yourself. You believe in who you are. You don’t worry about every little detail. You know things are just going to work out. If you read the stories of some of the most successful people, that’s what they’ll say. They don’t doubt themselves, the set their goals and know their self-worth. You’ll notice how easy it is to help others grow while you’re helping yourself to grow.
Never forget how powerful and truly magnificent you are. The more you know who you are and what you want, the less things upset you and have the ability to shake you off course. You already have all the supply you need right, we just learned about the law of supply. Now it’s time to know your worth.