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As we are learning how to fulfill our goals and be the very best we can be. We start being more aware of our actions, our thoughts, the people we are around and possibly even the things we say.  As we do this we are training/teaching ourselves to respond versus react.

Reaction is generally unconsciously done. When it come to the body, it can be involuntary. If something tickles your nose you sneeze. It also has to do with a physical or emotional consequence caused by a stimulus. So if someone hurts your feelings, you react by crying or becoming angry.

Response has to do with an action, either a physical action or something that you say.  It is typically a conscious decision.  It can be based on a person’s emotional reaction or thought process.  There’s forethought in a response. You take time to think about the situation. Your point of view, maybe theirs and how it will affect yourself or them. But mostly a response is about being in control of yourself. I don’t mean this in a way of not showing any emotions, but more of an understanding of why you feel this way or why something was done do you.

This really keeps you from becoming hot headed, short tempered, violent, and angry…as you’ve noticed these are all knee jerk reactions to something someone else is doing to cause you to be that way. Can you imagine how easy this happens when your stress levels are already high? Come to think of it, it really helps with maintaining stress levels.

{examples}
Bike for sale
The garden that kept being wiped out
Snapping lady

Learn to respond rather than react. When you react to things going on around you, your outside world is in control of you. Be in control of your outside world by controlling your attitude ~ Bob Proctor

As we talk about letting the outside world control you and controlling your attitude. This also leads us to ask yourself the question. Are you easily offended, very sensitive? Why?

Lets look at the experience of being touchy, very sensitive, easily upset, often feeling offended. According to Bob Proctor, it is linked to humility. So what’s your definition of humility?

“True humility is believing the truth about who you are,” writes Bob Proctor. He says, “If you are easily offended you have a humility problem.”

If someone thinks you are from a region, culture, state,neighborhood that you are not and you become offended. Ask yourself why you feel this way

If someone mistakes you for a worker in the store.
If someone doesn’t like the way you look.

ha ha, I remember one time I changed my hairstyle ( which I do a lot) and a coworker who was very nice but opinionated said. I don’t like your hair like that. You should wear it the way you use to.  I smiled and replied, it’s a good thing you aren’t my husband or boyfriend then huh?……What I believe and feel about myself is most important. He just stated how he felt and that’s fine.

If someone says you look like you have a rough night…I laugh because I probably did have a rough night and am sleep deprived. i can admit when I look like a hot mess too because I can accept the truth about myself. This takes the same practice of thinking about something before I say something.

If I become really sensitive about the way something is done..or maybe said. I need to take a breath and ask myself why am I being this way. Either I need to do it myself  or maybe I need to let a person express themselves the same way I want to express myself. My feelings aren’t the only ones that count.

Even if the person is coming from a malicious place, does it really matter? It only matter if you let it

Oh one more:
I remember my boss calling me into his office once and he said. Hold one one second I have a pink slip for your here.  He went into his drawer to reach for it and I just calm sat there. He started laughing and said I’m just joking, I just wanted to see what you would do. I replied, well, there’s nothing I can do about it so why react in any way. In my head I had already started planning on what to do next to move on from it.

No one can control you unless you let them.  Take time to pause, think about and respond so that you control your environment and not the other way around.

Bob proctor believes the 1st thing we should teach a child is the difference between responding and reacting. He says it changes everything in their life.

When we react to a person or a situation we are giving that person or thing control over us. When we respond we are maintaining control. Think about the word responsibility, it is our ability to response

references

LeBoutillier, L. (2013) What’s the difference between Response & React from https://mettahu.wordpress.com/2013/08/07/whats-the-difference-between-a-reaction-and-a-response/

McRobert, A. (2011) Are you easily offended from http://annamcrobertblog.com/?p=306

Model Health Show (2015) Bob Proctor Interview – Changing Your Self-Image, Leadership, And The ABC’s Of Success from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijblWIc_k5Y